“There are traffic lights longerthan my social life,” Jake said wearily when he met with me. “This problem is ruining my life. It’s like fighting demons.”‘
Jake was preoccupied with his arms and legs, which he thought were too skinny, and his “pale” skin. “I have no sex life or love life. I’m almost completely socially avoidant. I hardly ever go out. If I do go to a night club, I feel suicidal. … I’m still in shock that I look so horrible after all these years. It amazes me that no one faints when I get on the subway!”
Jake had been married to someone he hated and later divorced. “I married someone I felt no desire for. She was an awful person, but she was the only one who would accept me. She was probably the worst woman in the whole world, but I didn’t think anyone else would accept me because of how I look. I felt lucky to have anyone.”
Samantha avoided swimming or any activities requiring shorts. She, too, was concerned with pale skin and with freckles on her arms, legs, chest, and back. “The color of my skin is dead looking,” she said. “It causes problems in my social life. I miss parties sometimes, and if I go I can’t focus on conversations because I’m thinking about my freckles and pale skin. I’m constantly scrutinizing other people’s skin. I’m noticing what a nice color it is, or that they don’t have any freckles. The only time I really tune into the conversation is when I hear anything about freckles or skin. Then my ears perk up. “This problem also interferes with my sex life. My husband told me to make sure I told you. I feel very self-conscious, and I don’t want him to see my body. I can’t relax and enjoy anything. My husband can’t understand me. He tries but he can’t, and he gets angry about it.”
*119\204\8*
